Don't accept these new definitions from our evil politicians. That will give them power they don't have. Don't buy into it, don't believe it, don't accept it. This government and it's evil corruption is just shit 💩
Damn dude, glad you're okay! A gluc score of 56 is definitely not a good thing. My old man's used to drop like that sometimes...scared the hell out of everyone every time it did.
And I agree, gravity does suck! My balls hang twice as low as they used to! 🤣
Damn dude, glad you're okay! A gluc score of 56 is definitely not a good thing. My old man's used to drop like that sometimes...scared the hell out of everyone every time it did.
And I agree, gravity does suck! My balls hang twice as low as they used to!🤣
WICHITA, KS—Researchers have confirmed that a dad's bodily functions
will become exactly thirty decibels noisier with each passing year, ad
infinitum.
The effect appears to be universal, impacting every
noise from sneezing to belching. Contrary to other members of society,
being in public only seems to make it worse, adding another 15 decibels.
"The
results speak for themselves," said Dr. John Avagard. "A newly minted
father snoring through the newborn phase produces the same noise level
as a dishwasher. Within four years, his dozing is par with a garbage
disposal—and by the time the kids leave the house, mom is essentially
sleeping next to a Boeing 747. We also noted that once a certain age
threshold is crossed, Dad must begin all sentences by clearing his
throat, which starts off like a growl and eventually sounds like a pro
tennis player giving one of those primal yells."
Families are
often caught off guard by the surprising change in volume. "Yesterday, I
heard this awful, pained screaming from the other room, I ran in
thinking my Dad had really hurt himself," said local high-schooler Cabe
Bennett. "Turns out he was just trying to get out of the recliner. And
his yawns! One of them literally shook the pictures on the dresser, like
some kind of earthquake. This can't be normal."
At publishing
time, Cabe had run outside to the apparent sound of a motorcycle revving
on their driveway, but it was only his Dad farting.
Man Beaten to death by girl friend, investigators interrogating the suspect were told that she asked him if he knew why PMS was called PMS, to which he responded "yes, because Mad Cow Disease was already taken"
It seems a Pope and a Lawyer die on the same day. When they arrive in heaven, Saint Peter welcomes them. He offers to show them where they will spend eternity. First he shows the Pope a two room shack. Then he takes the Lawyer to a huge mansion complete with swimming pool, golf course, manicured grounds. The lawyer asked Saint Peter why he gets a mansion and the Pope gets only a shack? Saint Peter replies, we have dozens of Popes up hear, but you are the first Lawyer.
Comments
"Live long and prosper"...😏
Damn dude, glad you're okay! A gluc score of 56 is definitely not a good thing. My old man's used to drop like that sometimes...scared the hell out of everyone every time it did.
And I agree, gravity does suck! My balls hang twice as low as they used to! 🤣
Damn dude, glad you're okay! A gluc score of 56 is definitely not a good thing. My old man's used to drop like that sometimes...scared the hell out of everyone every time it did.
And I agree, gravity does suck! My balls hang twice as low as they used to!🤣
It would probably be more accurate if it was just left as a blank space instead! LOL
I clean forgot about my balls!
Its got to be a problem with their server. Old post or new post I still appreciate the concern.
WICHITA, KS—Researchers have confirmed that a dad's bodily functions will become exactly thirty decibels noisier with each passing year, ad infinitum.
The effect appears to be universal, impacting every noise from sneezing to belching. Contrary to other members of society, being in public only seems to make it worse, adding another 15 decibels.
"The results speak for themselves," said Dr. John Avagard. "A newly minted father snoring through the newborn phase produces the same noise level as a dishwasher. Within four years, his dozing is par with a garbage disposal—and by the time the kids leave the house, mom is essentially sleeping next to a Boeing 747. We also noted that once a certain age threshold is crossed, Dad must begin all sentences by clearing his throat, which starts off like a growl and eventually sounds like a pro tennis player giving one of those primal yells."
Families are often caught off guard by the surprising change in volume. "Yesterday, I heard this awful, pained screaming from the other room, I ran in thinking my Dad had really hurt himself," said local high-schooler Cabe Bennett. "Turns out he was just trying to get out of the recliner. And his yawns! One of them literally shook the pictures on the dresser, like some kind of earthquake. This can't be normal."
At publishing time, Cabe had run outside to the apparent sound of a motorcycle revving on their driveway, but it was only his Dad farting.
I hope your wife wasn’t looking over your shoulder when you popped that one up😬
After 57 years of marriage, she would think it as funny as I.
You lucky bastard
Far, far luckier than I deserve!
Oh the humanity!!
The Red Green Show was/is hilarious. I haven’t seen an episode in forever.