NEW YORK, NY — A new study indicates a disturbing trend as testicular injuries in women's sports are increasing at an astounding rate. Researchers are baffled as these statistics have skyrocketed from literally zero reported testicular injuries among female athletes just a few years ago.
"This new wave of testicular injuries to female athletes has really come out of nowhere," said Dr. Ryan Kitchen of Boston College's Institute of Sports Medicine. "Years ago, there were absolutely no reported testicular injuries that occurred during women's sporting events. If only we could determine what led to this sudden rise. Such a puzzle!"
Institutions around the world have also noticed the disturbing trend and are pouring research dollars into discovering the cause, which is almost certainly a complicated issue with no easy or obvious answers whatsoever.
Critics have argued that it's not actually possible for a female athlete to suffer a testicular injury. "Yeah, that can't happen," said Dr. Adam Kinunen of the Restore Sanity to Sports research group. "Considering the fact that having testicles in the first place means a person is not a female, it would stand to reason that such an injury is impossible. In layman's terms, these are dudes."
Trans activist groups have come out in full force against anyone who dares to suggest women cannot have their testicles injured because women can't have testicles. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" said Sunshine Fluffsprinkle, spokesperson for Insanity Now, a trans rights group in response to the findings. "BLLRRRAAAWWRRRR FFFRRGGGTHTHTH!"
At publishing time, concerned researchers in the field of sports medicine were consulting with athletic equipment manufacturers to design protective athletic cups specifically designed to protect female testicles.
@KA9FFJ@opipeman I think its supposed to be a knock on the GOP--i.e., conservatives oppose sex in schools, but as long as this 'theology' is combined with assault weapons, it's somehow okay. In other words, it's a classical example of a motie joke.
Just in case you guys are not aware, an art teacher was fired for showing kids Michelangelo's David statue, some parents claimed it was pornographic. (Idiots)
Motie2's oops excuse me, I mean montecristo's posted image is intended as a slam as it relates to guns and the over reaction regarding the statue.
Just for the hell of it, yesterday evening I purchased the first season of Monty Python's Flying Circus from Amazon for my Firestick...only made it through the first two episodes...cracked up the entire time! I've forgotten how damn funny those episodes were; it's probably 30 years since I've watched those..."And now for something completely different"
@vtgrad2003 that's hilarious, a few months back I introduced my 13 year old son to the old flying circus episodes on Netflix. Now he is driving everyone nuts talking in a bad British accent and singing the SPAM song. 😂 I'm holding off on letting him watch The Meaning of Life.
Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find younger women who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-70-year-old husband? A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 70-plus year-old people use valet parking? A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage? A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eyeglasses? A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus-year-olds when they enter antique stores? A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
Comments
Doctors Report Startling Rise In Testicular Injuries Among Woman Athletes
NEW YORK, NY — A new study indicates a disturbing trend as testicular injuries in women's sports are increasing at an astounding rate. Researchers are baffled as these statistics have skyrocketed from literally zero reported testicular injuries among female athletes just a few years ago.
"This new wave of testicular injuries to female athletes has really come out of nowhere," said Dr. Ryan Kitchen of Boston College's Institute of Sports Medicine. "Years ago, there were absolutely no reported testicular injuries that occurred during women's sporting events. If only we could determine what led to this sudden rise. Such a puzzle!"
Institutions around the world have also noticed the disturbing trend and are pouring research dollars into discovering the cause, which is almost certainly a complicated issue with no easy or obvious answers whatsoever.
Critics have argued that it's not actually possible for a female athlete to suffer a testicular injury. "Yeah, that can't happen," said Dr. Adam Kinunen of the Restore Sanity to Sports research group. "Considering the fact that having testicles in the first place means a person is not a female, it would stand to reason that such an injury is impossible. In layman's terms, these are dudes."
Trans activist groups have come out in full force against anyone who dares to suggest women cannot have their testicles injured because women can't have testicles. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" said Sunshine Fluffsprinkle, spokesperson for Insanity Now, a trans rights group in response to the findings. "BLLRRRAAAWWRRRR FFFRRGGGTHTHTH!"
At publishing time, concerned researchers in the field of sports medicine were consulting with athletic equipment manufacturers to design protective athletic cups specifically designed to protect female testicles.
Just wait, the biden administration will allocate millions to study this problem.
Wait…Shit….that ain’t funny, that bastard is giving away enough of my money to worthless turds😖
Yep! Worthless turds tend to watch out for each other.
It may be just me, but I'm missing the humor.
I don't get it either.
I think its supposed to be a knock on the GOP--i.e., conservatives oppose sex in schools, but as long as this 'theology' is combined with assault weapons, it's somehow okay. In other words, it's a classical example of a motie joke.
Someone's hitting the dislike button on me again
"...a wafer thin mint monsieur?"
"no, fuck off, I'm full!"
It has teeth like this. *makes fangs with fingers*
Brave Kanigit: It’s just a little bunny rabbit. I’ll get him.
Little bunny rabbit proceeds to tear apart Brave Kanigit and decapitates him.
Kanigit Onlooker: Jesus Christ! *as he holds his own throat, protecting it*
😏
Yep, merely a flesh wound.