My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental
illness and I said, "No, we all seem to enjoy it."
Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.
I'm a multitasker. I can listen, ignore and forget all at the
Retirement to-do list: 'Wake up.' - I Just Nailed it!
One minute you're young and fun. Next, you're turning down the
car stereo to see better.
Some people are like clouds, once they disappear it's a
Some people you're glad to see coming; other people you're glad
to see going.
Common sense is not a gift. It's a punishment!!Because now you have to deal with those who don't have it.
I came. I saw. I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps. Got
lost on the way back. Now I have no idea what's going on!
If you can't think of a word, say: "I forgot the English
word for it." That way people will think you're bilingual instead of an idiot.
I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as
I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do, it's because I
missed my highway exit.
I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply
in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or
talented.............I forgot where I was going with this.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on
clothes and leave the house.
It's weird being the same age as old people.It's probably my age that tricks people into thinking I'm an