A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." Distraught, the man is forced to leave. Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again. The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk." The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a monk." The man sets about his task. After years of searching he returns as a gray- haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the monks. "In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception." The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound." The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door." The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond. Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear and definite. The monks say, "This is the last key to the last door." The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door! With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the source of that haunting and seductive sound...... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... But, of course, I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.
Two old guys are sitting on the porch with a hound dog, talking about all the things they have done in there life, and all they things they wished they could still do, or should have done.
At this point the hound dog starts "cleaning" himself (so to say).
The first old guy looks down at the dog and says "I sure wish I could do that."
Second guy says "I wouldn't recommend it, I tried it last week and he bit me."
Any Trappers in here? Here is one for all the Trappers. Kentucky fish and Wildlife was out doing random checks and happened to walk upon a Coyote in a trap, He grabbed his phone and called the Ohio Wildlife agent he knew and said "I think we have one of your Coyotes in a trap down here in Kentucky", puzzled the Ohio Agent asked "How do you know it is a Coyote from Ohio? is it Tagged or something?" the Kentucky Fish and Wildlife officer replied "well no, I can tell it is one of yours because it has chewed three of it's legs off and is still in the trap!"
Comments
This may offend some so look with caution, remember these are just JOKES.
How many really had to think a minute?? LOL
He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke
down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously accept
him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep,
he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he's ever heard
before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship
comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses
and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a
seductive sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was,
but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." Distraught, the
man is forced to leave. Years later, after never being able to forget
that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer
again. The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man
says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful
sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk." The monks
reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass
there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these
answers, you will have become a monk." The man sets about his task.
After years of searching he returns as a gray- haired old man and knocks
on the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken before a
gathering of all the monks. "In my quest to find what makes that
beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for:
By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows
what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is
honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception." The
monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show
you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound." The monks lead the man
to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that
door." The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the
wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to
the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so
it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond.
Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become
very clear and definite. The monks say, "This is the last key to the
last door." The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind
that door! With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob,
and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his knees, he is utterly
amazed to discover the source of that haunting and seductive sound......
... ... ... ... ... ... ... But, of course, I can't tell you what it is
because you're not a monk.
Kentucky fish and Wildlife was out doing random checks and happened to walk upon a Coyote in a trap, He grabbed his phone and called the Ohio Wildlife agent he knew and said "I think we have one of your Coyotes in a trap down here in Kentucky", puzzled the Ohio Agent asked "How do you know it is a Coyote from Ohio? is it Tagged or something?" the Kentucky Fish and Wildlife officer replied "well no, I can tell it is one of yours because it has chewed three of it's legs off and is still in the trap!"
Good thing these guys help each other out!