Did you hear about the guy who went shopping for a Barbie doll for his daughter for Christmas?
So he goes in, and he is browsing the different styles and price points on the Barbie's. A salesperson approaches, so he asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $139.95, and all the others are $29.95?"
The salesperson replies, "Divorced Barbie comes complete, with Ken's house, and Ken's car."
This wish is limited to the customary and usual good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. "Holiday" is not intended to, nor shall it be considered, limited to the usual Judeo-Christian celebrations or observances, or to such activities of any organized or ad hoc religious community, group, individual or belief (or lack thereof).
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While being mindful and respectful of the holidays and traditions of others, I wish to extend to all of you here at ThisPipeLife my sincere wishes for a happy and healthy holiday season.
I have 10 strips of bacon, you take 5 strips. What do you get?
Right; a black eye and a broken hand.