In three of my professions before I retired I worked with two men who eventually committed murders and a child molester. I actually like the two that ended up murdering someone.
Three people were scheduled for execution by guillotine on the same day; a Frenchman, an American and an engineer.
They start with the American and ask him if he has any last words. “God bless America”, he responds. They raise the blade, get him in position, then pull the lanyard. Down comes the blade — but it suddenly stops. They pull out the frightened Yank and explain that if the guillotine fails, they must let the prisoner go free.
Then it’s the Frenchman’s turn. Same deal, ask him to give his last words, and he replies “Vive La France.” Down comes the blade and again it fails to work, so he is released.
Then they bring up the engineer, ask him for his last words, and he responds, “If you’d take the kinks out of the hoisting rope, it should work properly.”
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White
House. One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky, and the third is from New
Orleans.
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does
some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about
$9,000. That's $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for
me."
The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring,
then says, "I can do this job for $7,000. That's $3,000 for materials,
$3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."
The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over
to the White House official and whispers, "$27,000."
The official, incredulous, says: "You didn't even measure
like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure? "
The Chicago contractor whispers back: "$10,000 for me,
$10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence."
Carefully check all collected Halloween candy. One individual found the Sarajevo assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand by a Serbian Nationalist named Gavrilo Princip hidden inside a Snickers bar........
Pretty sure the Highway Safety Commission put the kibosh on that feature. Just think, if she were wearing a shoulder belt and she did a few rotations, you could choke your mom out, no more ass whooping😬
I don’t remember anything - even physics - ever impeding my father, of blessed memory, from cuffing my ears, even as he drove the green 1952 DeSoto. I was six.
Us kids never understood my mother's superhuman powers. We had a station wagon growing up and somehow, someway, with all seven kids in the wagon, my mother was able to hit us in the head in the 3rd row seat (remember those facing backwards?) while simultaneously driving the car. I mean, we knew she had eyes in the back of her head, but it's really odd that her arms reached that far.
We laid down in the back window up behind the back seat in the old 1967 Buick Special 4-Door Sedan. Mom’s arms weren’t that long….she is only five foot nothing😬. Oh, I have two brothers and two sisters, I’m the eldest…..I never had to “ride the hump”🙂. Seatbelts, we don’t need no stinking seatbelts….mom automatically just stuck her arm out when she would hit the brakes. At least the dashes had some padding in 1967😳
Comments
https://www.audacy.com/wwl/news/woman-suing-geico-after-getting-std-in-car?fbclid=IwAR0e5gUjCY-tTfM3du3jFj2rv4O9d4VlkWY62RzHgKgJFMA-F4RAToII28Q
https://www.abajournal.com/news/article/litigants-claiming-geico-auto-policy-covers-std-from-car-sex-cant-proceed-anonymously-judge-rules
If you file a stupid lawsuit, you should be identified.
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans.
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $9,000. That's $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."
The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $7,000. That's $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."
The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$27,000."
The official, incredulous, says: "You didn't even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure? "
The Chicago contractor whispers back: "$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official.Now that's funny!
I don’t remember anything - even physics - ever impeding my father, of blessed memory, from cuffing my ears, even as he drove the green 1952 DeSoto. I was six.
Did you had you actually call "window" or did you just "backhand" your siblings into submission?
They just acknowledged my station and status as first born and relinquished any perceived claim on seating arrangements😬
https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2021/11/02/climate-activists-glue-themselves-to-airport-runway-during-protest/