You have not been around long enough (or have not paid attention) but, while having great respect for Christians who try to walk in the footsteps of Jesus, I am as far from an evangelical Christian as one can be.
A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher were on a boat ride when the rabbi told his companions that he was hungry. He jumped out of the boat and walked towards the land where he got some snacks.
The priest and the preacher watched the rabbi as he savored his mouth-watering snack on the land. They turned their gaze away from him and relaxed in the cool air.
But a while after, the priest also got thirsty, and like the rabbi, he stepped out of the boat. He walked across the water and made it to the land. He got a bottle of water and felt relieved afterward.
Observing the whole scene, the preacher decided to have a snack and drink just like his colleagues. So he stepped out of the boat but was immediately submerged in the water. Having seen what happened to the preacher from afar, the rabbi smiled and told the priest:
"Maybe we should've told him where the rocks were."
There once was a powerful emperor who needed a new chief Samurai. But after 2 months, only 3 people applied for the job: a Japanese man, a Chinese man, and Moishe.
The emperor first asked the Japanese man to demonstrate why he should be chief Samurai. The man opened a little silver box and out flew a little fly. Whoosh went his sword and the fly dropped dead in two pieces. The emperor was impressed.
The emperor then asked the Chinese man to demonstrate why he should be chief Samurai. The man opened a small pearl box and out flew a smaller fly. Whoosh, whoosh went his sword and the fly dropped dead in four pieces. The emperor was very impressed.
Then the emperor asked Moishe to demonstrate why he should be chief Samurai. Moishe opened a small gold box and out flew a wasp. Whoooossshhh, whoooossshhh, whooooossshhh, whoooooossshhh, whoooooossshhh went Moishe's sword, but the wasp was still alive and buzzing around the emperor.
The emperor was very disappointed and asked Moishe, "After all your sword play, why is the wasp not dead?"
Moishe replied, "A circumcision is not intended to kill."
After surviving the hurricane and seeing the ever growing long lines of people at the few gas stations open in my area, I had this thought.
If owning an electric car is so great, tell me what you would do in a situation like New Orleans is in where the majority of the area is without power?
We have two Prius hybrids; a Prius and a Prius V. Solves the no electricity problem (you generate your own), but not the problem of long gas station lines.
Second lowest form of argument; in fact, ad hominem arguments are fallacious. The fallacy occurs when, instead of addressing someone's argument or position, you irrelevantly attack the person or some aspect of the person who is making the argument. The fallacious attack can also be direct to membership in a group or institution.
The ant works hard
in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is
a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come
winter, the shivering grasshopper calls
a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to
provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next
to a video of the ant in
his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the
sharp contrast.
How can
this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is
allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears
on Oprah with
the grasshopper and
everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green'
Occupy the Anthill stages
a demonstration in front of the ant's house
where the news stations film the
Black
Lives Matter group singing, We shall
overcome.
Then
Reverend Al Sharpton
has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper while
he damns the ants. He later appears on MSNBC to complain that rich people
do not
care.
Former President Obama condemns
the ant and
blames Donald Trump, President Bush 43,
President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for
the grasshopper's plight.
Nancy Pelosi & Chuck Schumer exclaim
in an interview on The View
that the ant has
gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper,
and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair
share.
Finally,
the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive
to the beginning of
the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number
of green bugs and,
having; nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by
the
Government Green Czar, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and given
to the grasshopper.
The
story ends as we see the grasshopper and
his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he
is in,
which, as
you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house,
crumbles around them because the grasshopper
doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house,
now abandoned, is taken
over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and
peaceful, neighborhood.
The
entire Nation collapses
bringing the rest
of the free world with it.
Sorry @mfresa, your post came up while I was in the process of posting a comment about @motie2's logic pyramid, it didn't apply to your story. Your fingers are faster than mine!
A man in Ireland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says, "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough". "Dad, what are you talking about?'" the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer", the father says. "We're sick of each other and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her". Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like hell, they're getting divorced", she shouts, "I'll take care of this". She calls Ireland immediately and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and smiling, turns to his wife.
"Done! They're coming for Christmas - and they're paying their own way!"
This just in from the WhoDaThunkIt Desk: "Legalization of recreational cannabis may be associated with an increase in fatal motor vehicle collisions," according to a report in the Canadian Medical Association Journal. Yup, it's hard to drive with a big bag of Doritos on your lap.
Comments
Hilariious🤣 Absolutely hilarious😂
You have not been around long enough (or have not paid attention) but, while having great respect for Christians who try to walk in the footsteps of Jesus, I am as far from an evangelical Christian as one can be.
Even further from my Roman Catholic colleagues…..
He jumped out of the boat and walked towards the land where he got some snacks.
They turned their gaze away from him and relaxed in the cool air.
He walked across the water and made it to the land.
He got a bottle of water and felt relieved afterward.
So he stepped out of the boat but was immediately submerged in the water.
Having seen what happened to the preacher from afar, the rabbi smiled and told the priest:
If owning an electric car is so great, tell me what you would do in a situation like New Orleans is in where the majority of the area is without power?
HERE'S AN UPDATED VERSION OF A STORY
WE'LL ALL REMEMBER...and a new moral.....
The Ant and the Grasshopper . . . updated ;
The ANT AND THE
GRASSHOPPER
Two Different Versions ...
Two Different Morals
OLD VERSION
The ant works
hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies
for the winter.
The grasshopper
thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm
and well fed.
The grasshopper has
no food or shelter, so he
dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE OLD STORY:
Be responsible for yourself!
*************************************************************
MODERN
VERSION
The ant works hard
in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant
is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper
calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN,
and ABC show up to
provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper
next to a video of the ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper
is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears
on Oprah
with the grasshopper
and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green'
Occupy the Anthill stages
a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the
Black Lives Matter group singing, We shall overcome.
Then Reverend Al Sharpton
has the group kneel down to pray for the grasshopper
while he damns the ants. He later appears on MSNBC to complain that rich people
do not care.
Former President Obama condemns the ant
and blames
Donald Trump, President Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the
Pope
for the grasshopper's
plight.
Nancy Pelosi & Chuck Schumer
exclaim in an interview on The View
that the ant has
gotten rich off the back of the
grasshopper ,
and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts
the Economic Equity &
Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of
the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number
of green bugs and,
having; nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the
Government Green Czar, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper
and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in,
which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house,
crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken
over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.
The entire Nation collapses
bringing the rest
of the free world with it.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be careful how you vote in 2022....
Nice pyramid, not a joke. Belongs posted in the "The World We Live In" thread with a challenge to find the most ad hominem examples!
This tree (about 1/2 mile from the house) adopted the "Bend, don't break" strategy for the hurricane.
This just in from the WhoDaThunkIt Desk: "Legalization of recreational cannabis may be associated with an increase in fatal motor vehicle collisions," according to a report in the Canadian Medical Association Journal. Yup, it's hard to drive with a big bag of Doritos on your lap.
”Why do mice have small balls?”
(Answer is forthcoming.)
Oy. Mazal tov.
To prove to the stupid possums that it could be done.