LIttle girl comes home from schoolll. “Mommie, I got yelled at for something I didn’t do.” Mom: “I’m going up there first thing in the morning and talk to your teacher and the principal if necessary and get this straightened out.........Ummm,,,, honey,,,what didn’t you do that she yelled at you for’
In early 2014, the world learned how much harm a handful of gummy bears can do. That’s when the internet caught on to the Amazon reviews for Haribo’s Sugar Free Gummy Bears, which revealed the considerable colon damage that a serving size of these treats could cause.
As the Atlantic pointed out, the culprit behind the gummy bears’ bodily onslaught is the sugar-substitute lycasin. Listed as the first ingredient in the candy, lycasin is a hydrogenated syrup that's been clinically studied and is considered safe to eat. But lycasin consists mainly of maltitol, a well-known sugar alcohol that is almost as sweet as sugar. The problem with maltitol is that is not fully digestible and ferments in the gut. If eaten in excess, side effects can include increased flatulence, loose stools, and diarrhea. According to studies, even just 40 grams of maltitol can cause "gastrointestinal responses." That’s the equivalent of 15 gummy bears. Suffice to say, it is very easy to eat 15 gummy bears in one sitting.
Due to the media-attention and the very poor consumer reviews, Haribo has since discontinued this particular dangerous bear.
@motie2 I was thinking, eating these Gummy Bears before a colonoscopy sounds like a better idea...EXCEPT...I would probably get the stomach cramps and that would not be pleasant.
Don't know what it is about those hairs that grow out of our ears - but them suckers seem to be super glued in there and require a pair of pliers to yank out. I pulled out one hair so damn long I ended up with tinnitus because I think it was attached to my eardrum.
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Mom: “I’m going up there first thing in the morning and talk to your teacher and the principal if necessary and get this straightened out.........Ummm,,,, honey,,,what didn’t you do that she yelled at you for’
Little girl.........”My homework.”
I THINK IT'S THE FUNNIEST ONLINE HUMOR SINCE KIKI AND THE GERBIL.
https://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/dp/B000EVQWKC#customerReviews
In early 2014, the world learned how much harm a handful of gummy bears can do. That’s when the internet caught on to the Amazon reviews for Haribo’s Sugar Free Gummy Bears, which revealed the considerable colon damage that a serving size of these treats could cause.
As the Atlantic pointed out, the culprit behind the gummy bears’ bodily onslaught is the sugar-substitute lycasin. Listed as the first ingredient in the candy, lycasin is a hydrogenated syrup that's been clinically studied and is considered safe to eat. But lycasin consists mainly of maltitol, a well-known sugar alcohol that is almost as sweet as sugar. The problem with maltitol is that is not fully digestible and ferments in the gut. If eaten in excess, side effects can include increased flatulence, loose stools, and diarrhea. According to studies, even just 40 grams of maltitol can cause "gastrointestinal responses." That’s the equivalent of 15 gummy bears. Suffice to say, it is very easy to eat 15 gummy bears in one sitting.
Due to the media-attention and the very poor consumer reviews, Haribo has since discontinued this particular dangerous bear.
Dang those were funny, I almost crapped myself. Now I need to find this Kiki and the Gerbil you speak of....or do I?
I was thinking, eating these Gummy Bears before a colonoscopy sounds like a better idea...EXCEPT...I would probably get the stomach cramps and that would not be pleasant.
Reminds me of an old riddle:
A man is living in a house where every window faces south.
He looks out the window and sees a bear ambling by..
What color is the bear?
It's not whether you win or lose,but how you place the blame.
We have enough "youth". How about a fountain of "smart"?
The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
A Fool and his money can throw one heck of a party
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES: USE BIRTH CONTROL
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Red meat is not bad for you; Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs.
Alabama state motto: At least we're not Mississippi
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.
The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population
"You know why a banana is like a politician?" "He comes in and first he is green, then he turns yellow, and then he's rotten."
"I think Congressmen should wear uniforms, you know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors."
Reporter Lesley Stahl did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before our involvement in the Afghan conflict.
She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands.
Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to (and are happy to) maintain the old customs.
Ms. Stahl approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Stahl straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines.”
No matter what language you speak or where you go the moral of the story is:
BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A REALLY SMART WOMAN.........