HEY NOW!!! DON'T RAG ON MY MAIN GO-TO SOURCE!!! If it wasn't for the National Enquirer, what the hell would I do while I'm waiting in line to check out?
@Londy3 Love the 7 Up ad, it reminds me of a joke which I should probably not share here, but the punchline goes "so you can carry them like a six-pack"
What do you expect from
such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can
never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear
NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you
the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas
station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and
think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add
character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your
chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your
feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A
five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone
forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is
$8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost
never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your
clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle
lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can
play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for
all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your
nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25
minutes. No wonder men are happier.
NICKNAMES:
� If
Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate
and Sarah.
� If
Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat
Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING
OUT:
� When
the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's
only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually
admit they want change back.
When the girls get their
bill, outcome the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
� A
man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
� A
woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS:
� A
man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
� The
average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not
be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS:
� A
woman has the last word in any argument.
� Anything
a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE:
� A
woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
� A
man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE:
� A
woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
� A
man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING
UP:
� A
woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer
the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
� A
man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL:
� Men
wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
� Women
somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
� Ah,
children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes
and dreams.
� A
man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT
FOR THE DAY:
A married man should
forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
I loaded my little MM IPSD 2018 with the Sutliff “Eccentric”, I didn’t want a big pipe or a nasty Latakia ghost in a ‘real’ pipe😉. This tobacco is the most moist right from the tin compared to all the earlier series blends. I had to give it a 30 minute dry time before loading. I will say, this is the least objectionable Latakia blend I have tried. I think the Perique/Katarini is helping to tone down the Latakia. The Latakia must have been added with a very light hand as well. It’s not bad, I can smoke this blend. I’m still glad I picked a small cob👍🏻 It’s definitely got that strange and unappealing (to me) Latakia nose and flavor, but it’s pretty muted.
Big brass balls or just plain crazy? Watch the video. The rescue swimmer was a rookie on a training mission. The man rescued was later arrested for stealing the boat.
Kudos to the US Coast Guard and new rescue swimmer for a job well done. Too bad the Coast Guard was so close to the mayday in this instance, the crook would have been left to the sharks and Davey Jone’s Locker.
Early today me Bride was changing the batteries in her hearing aids and she asked me why the battery in one always died first? I explained that because she is right handed the left side of her brain controls reasoning and the right side of the brain controls laughing and peeing. She immediately started to laugh and head for the bathroom. This confirmed my explanation. It's all about the science.
Comments
🤣😂🤣😂🤣
This is just a joke! I repeat, this is just a joke! DO NOT READ IT IF you are offended easily!
You have been warned.
Caution, punchline make cause more offense…….golly gee willakers…..chill.
They didn’t want to fill them with rocks😳
Bad Toad, Bad Toad.
Maybe voice to text wasn’t working😬
https://thedcpatriot.com/whered-the-eggs-go-multiple-studies-show-egg-yolk-antibodies-block-the-binding-of-multiple-sars-cov-2-covid-19-spike-protein-variants-in-bombshell-report/
It all makes sense now
https://www.foxnews.com/sports/7th-grader-wins-10000-drilling-half-court-shot-power-god-it-went-in
Men Are Just Happier People.
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.
NICKNAMES:
� If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
� If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT:
� When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
� A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
� A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS:
� A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
� The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS:
� A woman has the last word in any argument.
� Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE:
� A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
� A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE:
� A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
� A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP:
� A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
� A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL:
� Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
� Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
� Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
� A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!All true.
Too bad the Coast Guard was so close to the mayday in this instance, the crook would have been left to the sharks and Davey Jone’s Locker.
Brilliant post
Wow, that's terrifying! Amazing though
@opipeman
Don't you feel so safe and confident under the biden regime?