An old rancher pinched his hand in a squeeze gate to the point of needing stitches. While his doctor was stitching him up their conversation came around to politics, when the doctor asked the old man what he thought of the current President.
The rancher responded by saying he thought the President was no more than a "Post Turtle."
He further explained, "When you're driving down an old country road and you come up upon a turtle balanced on a fence post, THAT's a post turtle."
Noting the curious look on the doctor's face, he realized that the doctor still did not understand, so he continued, "You know he didn't have the ability to get there himself, he has no idea how he got there or what he's doing, he has no natural ability to accomplish anything from there, and you can't help but wonder what idiot put him there. You can only pity him, for the injuries he'll receive when he falls from that post."
He did the right thing and stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.
The tailgating woman behind him was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.
As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.
The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.
He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed and placed in a holding cell.
After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door.
She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.
He said, ''I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, giving the guy in front of you the finger and cursing at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally I assumed you had stolen the car
@PappyJoe; I was trained to always wear a SCBA(self Contained Breathing Apparatus) every time I entered a burning structure, but I didn't always do it. You apparently have more discipline than I.
@opipeman Yep. One of my jobs while in the Coast Guard was dealing with the news media. Even though the media was better behaved and more interested in getting the story right, they were still frustrating and we had to maintain a calm demeanor while doing interviews - especially on camera - when what we really wanted to do was slap the shit out of them.
@opipeman and I was shining shoes for LPGA golfers. Although looking back, back then female golfers looked like Soviet Era truck drivers. Now they are a bit more easy on the eyes.
@Zouave1864 Not a fan of golf, but I would have liked to earn my beaver badge. I didn’t even know it was available when I was a Boy Scout.😬 Pretty nice set of clubs…I mean nice club😬
Comments
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/01/technology/elon-musk-mark-zuckerberg-cage-match.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare
That's fucking hilarious!
Yes. Just not the part where she got arrested.
That's it, I gotta buy some Depends. Don't feel bad. It was bound to happen sooner or later.
Ordinary I would tag @vtgrad2003 with this, but I guess I'll just drop it here.
I hear "artificial" and think imitation.
I always wonder why people want imitation intelligence.
🤣😂 Good ones!!
I was trained to always wear a SCBA(self Contained Breathing Apparatus) every time I entered a burning structure, but I didn't always do it. You apparently have more discipline than I.
You are correct. It's about both of them.
Yep. One of my jobs while in the Coast Guard was dealing with the news media. Even though the media was better behaved and more interested in getting the story right, they were still frustrating and we had to maintain a calm demeanor while doing interviews - especially on camera - when what we really wanted to do was slap the shit out of them.
Not a fan of golf, but I would have liked to earn my beaver badge. I didn’t even know it was available when I was a Boy Scout.😬
Pretty nice set of clubs…I mean nice club😬