Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.
Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 In the 60s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD, AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips , an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michigan, was going to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me. Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy, you should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available" George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police 911 again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both; my dogs are eating them right now," and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed. One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
I love to hear folks say, "You don't look 71."
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
@motie2, see that is why I enjoy your posts. That pic makes these young whippersnappers, who gauge their earlobes out to the size of silver dollars, tame by comparison. In fact, they might even be viewed as normal, which I am fairly certain would be of great disappointment to them.
Comments
Go figure....
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
The master of ad libitum, who knew how to get dirty, without getting dirty..........
"Maximus1" asks, "Does anyone know of a good fragrance that smells like cherry/vanilla pipe tobacco?"
https://www.fragrantica.com/board/viewtopic.php?id=20066
Another guy asks the same question:
http://www.basenotes.net/threads/222899-The-search-is-over-for-a-cherry-tobacco-pipe-scent
The one that started it all.........
Second: I found the picture interesting and thought y'all might too; it's certainly unique.
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Extended_mouthpiece_for_pipe_smoking_woman.jpg
File: Extended mouthpiece for pipe smoking woman
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/news/a46828/guest-editor-deadpool/
Another day, another social media challenge. The One Chip Challenge dares participants to try one tortilla chip flavored with Carolina Reaper.
If you can handle the chip, you've passed the test.
Videos of people attempting the challenge.