@Montecristo; You do come up with some good amendments. I must say though, that those times in my life that I have "Blown out the tubes", I really didn't feel so good the next day.
@opipeman Point taken. Did minor roof repairs on my own for years. This last storm pulled another shingle off my roof. The wife said, "You're not getting up there anymore!"... I'm not getting up there anymore...
"We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary."- C.S. Lewis
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it."- Golda Meir
"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued."- Bill Dane
"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.- Mark Twain
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself."- Tom Wilson
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."- Rita Rudner
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down."- Leo Rosenberg
“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get”– Robert Orben
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all. - Ann Landers
"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labelled senile."- George Burns
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past."- Robert Brault
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.”- Andy Rooney
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.”- Larry Lorenzon
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead."- John Mendoza
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap."- Bob Hope
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast."– Anonymous
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth - Conan O’Brien
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to"- Albert Einstein
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does."- J. Norman Collie
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work."- Hy Gardner
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old."- Mark Twain
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure."- Dennis Wolfberg
"The idea is to die young as late as possible."- Ashley Montagu
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”- George Burns
@opipeman "18.
Never pay someone to do something that you can do yourself, unless
your wife insists."
18-A. If it makes your body hurt the next morning, pay someone else to do it.
There are lots of things I used to do around the house before I had to stop doing them because of a bad back, torn rotator cuffs and arthritis. Old age sucks but it's better than the alternative.
Comments
I couldn't agree more.
They are probably right.
13. Be humble.
It's hard to be humble
when you're perfect in every way.
You are so correct. You and Mac Davis are the only people I know of.
14. Put your faith in Jesus.
i have been called many things. Perfect and humble are not included.
My Bride has said I'm perfect on many occasions. Silly girl!
Oh, yeah? What did she want or what did you give her?
Totally unsolicited and without strings. In other words, beats the shit out of me.
14. Put your faith in Jesus.
Sorry, Brothers, I posted #14 yesterday. Old is spot on.
15. Everything in moderation.
Suggested amendation:
15. Everything in moderation, including moderation.
Sometimes one’s gotta blow out the tubes …..
You do come up with some good amendments. I must say though, that those times in my life that I have "Blown out the tubes", I really didn't feel so good the next day.
I prefer getting the tubes blown out.
But your tubes are cleared out
@PappyJoe
I’ve forgotten what that implies
Elevation and windage, Pilgrim.
16. When you pray, ask for forgiveness, strength, or to help someone else.
17. Be kind.
18. Never pay someone to do something that you can do yourself, unless your wife insists.
Point taken. Did minor roof repairs on my own for years.
This last storm pulled another shingle off my roof.
The wife said, "You're not getting up there anymore!"...
I'm not getting up there anymore...
Been there and not done that.
19. Remember your ancestors.
"We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary."- C.S. Lewis
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it."- Golda Meir
"I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued."- Bill Dane
"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.- Mark Twain
"Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself."- Tom Wilson
"I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet."- Rita Rudner
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do." - Phyllis Diller
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down."- Leo Rosenberg
“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get”– Robert Orben
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all. - Ann Landers
"When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labelled senile."- George Burns
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past."- Robert Brault
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.”- Andy Rooney
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.”- Larry Lorenzon
"You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead."- John Mendoza
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."- George Carlin
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap."- Bob Hope
"I don't do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast."– Anonymous
"Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth - Conan O’Brien
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to"- Albert Einstein
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does."- J. Norman Collie
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work."- Hy Gardner
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old."- Mark Twain
"There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure."- Dennis Wolfberg
"The idea is to die young as late as possible."- Ashley Montagu
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”- George Burns
Those are some outstanding quotes. Thanks for posting.
"18. Never pay someone to do something that you can do yourself, unless your wife insists."
18-A. If it makes your body hurt the next morning, pay someone else to do it.
There are lots of things I used to do around the house before I had to stop doing them because of a bad back, torn rotator cuffs and arthritis. Old age sucks but it's better than the alternative.
Confront your finitude!
That wouldn't leave much for me to do.
@Montecristo;
That may be the hardest part of growing old, realizing you have limits.
20. Never complain about pain, except to your doctor.