Pipe Haiku

motie2

Congrats, randelli

Very well done!

Woodsman

Oh Yeah, very good.

mfresa

The stillness of air
Latakia surrounds me
I'm one with the world

motie2

Beautiful sentiment, well conveyed. 

Well done!

mfresa

Torch the Rivendell
Listen to the woodpeckers
Paradise anow!

motie2

Well done and impressive.....

mfresa

@motie2, I'm just trying to capture a split second's thoughts when I'm having a pipe.  It's hard to remember the words and then come back and write them down afterwards.  also, there is some word substitution based on the meter that I have to go through.  That initial bunch you published at the top of this thread I thought was fantastic.  Jot down a few more when the spirit moves you.

motie2

I have found it very interesting that haiku is a form of poetry that engages folks to write poetry who don't really care for poetry. 

I think it's because of the 5/7/5 requirement that makes writing haiku into a puzzle to be solved.

Woodsman

They're getting better and better.. Good stuff.

motie2

Challenge: Rewrite this Irish proverb into Haiku

<<Smoke your pipe and be silent; there’s only wind and smoke in the world.>>

mfresa

OK give me a day or so to think about it.

mfresa

Wind carries nothing;
Smoke your pipe and be silent -
Add spice to the world.

motie2

I've been playing with the words myself.... We'll see, eh?

mfresa

This one was moderately tough.  Good luck.

motie2

I admire your deftness with words.

Woodsman

This is getting even better/

motie2

OK, opinion time:

Is "prayer" as in, say, The Lord's Prayer,  one syllable or two for our haiku purposes.

I vote one.

mfresa

Two, @motie2, come on.... :-)

motie2

I'm still uncertain. I put <<prayer>> into Google and got the following, which looks like one syllable.

I ask because I'm trying to use prayer in the challenge haiku......

prayer

/prer/

noun

motie2

I also found these assertions regarding the syllabification of prayer:

1) "It depends on the meaning of the word. If you mean "one who prays", then it would be two. If you mean "what is prayed", then it is one."

2) "The rules are bent in poetry. It depends how the line scans and what it has to rhyme with. If the beat and rhyme require prayer to be 2 syllables, then it's said with 2 syllables. If the beat and rhyme require one syllable, then it's said with one."

So where does that leave me?

mfresa

@motie2 you are going to have to experiment with the pronunciation, me thinks.

motie2

I'm going to go with /prer/ -- one syllable.

motie2

The challenge was: <<Challenge: Rewrite this Irish proverb into Haiku: "Smoke your pipe and be silent; there’s only wind and smoke in the world.">>

I saked about the syllables in Prayer nad decided to go with one syllable: / prer /

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 17.0px; font: 15.0px Helvetica; color: #666666; background-color: #ffffff}
p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; line-height: 17.0px; font: 15.0px Helvetica; color: #666666; background-color: #ffffff; min-height: 18.0px}
span.s1 {font-kerning: none}

I took <<Smoke your pipe and be silent; there’s only wind and smoke in the world.>> and broke it down into smoke, pipe, silent, wind, world

First attempt, this came out:

Sipped, pipe smoke ascends,

rising, a prayer on the wind.

Silent world; at peace.

motie2

Freakin' formatting garbage......

mfresa

I like it.  (not the formatting problems)

motie2

The challenge was: <<Challenge: Rewrite this Irish proverb into Haiku: "Smoke your pipe and be silent; there’s only wind and smoke in the world.">>

Take 2

brier’s silent fire

a sweet savor to the Lord

carried by the wind

thebadgerpiper

Struggled with this for some time, but I can finally contribute a haiku.

Peace and silence flow
Alone with the briar's glow
Smoke and wind entwined

mfresa

@thebadgerpiper, that is excellent!

motie2

@badgerpiper -- Kudos! An excellent little gem. I like it.

Hey, the rest of y'all: Write a haiku poem, doesn't need to rhyme (but neatly done, Brother Badger), but has three lines of five, seven, and five syllables, in that order. We are allowing punctuation but it isn't necessary. We're trying to write haiku about pipe smoking, and the current challenge is  <<Rewrite this Irish proverb into Haiku: "Smoke your pipe and be silent; there’s only wind and smoke in the world.">>

So far, we have entries from me, @mfresa, and @badgerpiper

@mfresa

Wind carries nothing;

Smoke your pipe and be silent - 

Add spice to the world.

@motie2

Sipped, pipe smoke ascends,

rising, a prayer on the wind.

Silent world; at peace.

brier’s silent fire

a sweet savor to the Lord

carried by the wind

@badgerpiper

Peace and silence flow

Alone with the briar's glow

Smoke and wind entwined

thebadgerpiper

Thank you for the kind words @motie2 and @mfresa on my haiku. The rhyme in my wasn't intentional, but when it came together, I was happy with the results.