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What is the worst smoke you ever had.....
glohman
Newcomer
in Tobacco Talk
We've all been there, awaiting a new smoke loaded up a ready to go, and 3 puffs in it's ready to go.... in the bin. Sometimes you give them a second (or third try) and they grow on you. Other times your heading for the door like the guy on Murray Povich who "is not the father!!" (genuine American entertainment). What is on your [trash] bucket list and why?
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I can't say that I've ever had a tobacco go south in 3 puffs, most of the blends I 86'd were for excessive bite. Middleton's Cherry had an awful taste that didn't show for about 10 puffs and bit like a snake, Unfortunately it was the 1st tobacco I smoked so I didn't have anything to compare to. My friend's Dad gave me some Carter Hall and that saved me from tossing it all. I still turn to Carter Hall 60 years later.
I will say, though, that the roomnote was fantastic. I'd be fine if people smoked it around me, but I'd never touch it again.
I do have two cherry pouches from last years IPSD in my cellar that I'm pretty sure will give the same reaction. I'm waiting to give them to someone else who'd appreciate them more than I would.
It wasn't tobacco, nor was it an illegal substance ... but it definitely was never meant to be smoked in a pipe.
I was working the midnight shift at US Steel (I was a Millwright) and a handful of co-workers were in an 8' x 10' shanty smoking cigarettes and playing pinochle. The air was as thick as a foggy night in Whitechapel during the reign of Jack The Ripper. Even as a smoker the air was too noxious to breath. So to make a point and add some real 'stink' to the place I tore open a Lipton's tea bag and lit it up in my pipe. Once the scent penetrated their toxic cloud I could immediately separate the pot smokers from the rest because the smoldering tea bag smelled just like marijuana. The old timers unfamiliar with the smell of pot suggested I was smoking an old sock, while the potheads stared at me in awe assuming I'd just lost my mind.
And as for the taste - the old timers unfamiliar with the scent of pot were right on the money ... it tasted like an old gym sock.
If it smells like fruitcake, and can sit out for 2 weeks, and still hold moisture, it will probably shred my tongue in a fashion that will take weeks to get over.
It will most likely be a house blend in a ribbon cut variety, that will be called something like, "Amaretto Flaming Tongue Surprise."
The worst smoking experience I had was not the fault of the tobacco I was smoking, but over-indulgence on my part by re-filling my bowl one after another like a cigarette chain smoker. I became violently ill and nauseous, and as a result never bought the blend again. It was the once very popular OTC blend "FLYING DUTCHMAN". A blend I enjoyed for quite some time. But that one act of stupidity turned me off to the brand and I never returned again.
I found myself babysitting a piece of equipment at work which was leaking oil due to a faulty oil seal. It was an emergency back-up pump only used when the main pump was down for routine maintenance or repairs. Unfortunately once the pump was started up it was discovered the oil seal had dry-rotted and was leaking oil almost as fast as you poured it in. So since the main pump was down I had to sit there and babysit the pump for eight hours catching the leaking oil into a coffee can then pouring it back into the pump while placing a second can under the pump to catch the oil that leaked while I was emptying the other can back into the pump. During this never-ending repetitive cycle of boredom I'd have just enough to time between alternating oil cans to re-fill my pipe with Flying Dutchman and light-up. And at the mid-point way of my eight hour shift I got so sick I used one of the coffee cans for something other than oil - and heaved my guts out.
So 'that' was the worst smoke I ever had.
I'll have to say "Captain Black Cherry"! I did not even finish the initial bowl! I was in the garbage less than an hour after I bought it!!
Tuxedo007
I've just experienced my second place finish for 'worst smoke' - and once again it's not a reflection of the tobacco but the overall experience as a result of improper packing - and a new discovery I made concerning over-waxing a pipe.
Let me begin by saying I was trying the layering technique I've used a number of times ... layering three individual blends one an top the other. Trying to find a way to improve my H&H Egg Nog blend. Probably should have simply blended it up with the Sutliff Vanilla Custard and Pumpkin Spice rather than layering the three - because in the process I apparently packed it too tightly. This resulted in lighting problems. And making matters worse I was smoking my Frasorteret Freehand which has an uneven plateau rim making it impossible to use my Zippo pipe lighter. It's one of the few pipes I smoke that requires matches because I can't get the flame on the lighter to make good enough contact with the tobacco. So I had two things going on at the same time - a pipe that can be harder to light ... and a pipe too tightly packed. I must have gone through two dozen matches before giving up and eventually using my pipe tool to stir up the tobacco to loosen it so I could get a good draw.
All that excess lighting of the matches seemed to have made the bowl of the pipe extremely hot once I finally got the tobacco to light properly. All that puffing gave me my first case of tongue bite in a long time. Can't ever remember getting tongue bite from a Sutliff aromatic before. Then the excess wax came into play. Apparently I had over-waxed the pipe the last time I hand waxed it (I usually do that immediately after smoking while the pipe is warm and the wax seems to take better to it). But in this case the Freehand pipe is rusticated and the grooves probably filled in with the melted wax and I did a piss poor job of hand buffing afterwards to remove it. So now that the bowl of the pipe was extremely hot - the wax returned to a liquid state and clung to my finger burning the Hell out of me in the process. It was bad enough the bowl was too hot to handle - but the hot wax stuck to my fingers as well.
So all and all I'd rank it right up there with the worst smoking experience of my life - a far from an enjoyable smoke. And my tongue burnt so bad I have no idea how the blend turned out. I'll try that configuration again at a later date - but with a different pipe ... and not so tightly packed.