I've Hit Rock Bottom ... I Found Myself Washing Old Pipe Cleaners

ghostsofpompeii

Now don't go starting a 'Go Fund Me' page for poor old Ghosts ... I'm not in financial straights.

Last night, sometime after midnight, my wife got out of bed because she heard the pump for the well running non-stop for an extended period of time, and was concerned we might be having a problem with the pressure regulator again. To her surprise she found me hunched over the kitchen sink, faucet running, washing something. Since she had washed all the dishes before going to bed - under normal circumstances the only time I might use the sink that time of the night would be to rinse out a single coffee cup, glass, or plate after a late night snack. (By the way ... when I wash a plate at night it's to hide the fact that I 'was' eating a late night snack). 

When she came up behind me I wasn't expecting it and it she scared the Hell out of me. Then that short moment of terror across my face immediately transformed into the sheepish grin of an embarrassed moron. There I stood - washing a handful of nasty looking used pipe cleaners.

"My God", she exclaimed, "things aren't that bad for us!" 

I collected my thoughts and my reasoning seemed sound - until I heard the actual words come out of my mouth, enter my ear, and transmit to my semi-comatose brain. Immediately my brain rebooted and was in 'full function mode', calculating the cost of my impromptu pipe cleaner maintenance. Figuring in the cost of electricity to run the pump, the ridiculous amount of dish washing liquid I used to perform my miserly task, as well as the waste of water. 

God knows I'm cheap ... but not that cheap. I just can't find a good brand of pipe cleaners in the Smoke Shops near me. Either they are the chintzy fuzzy multi-colored type kids use for hobby projects - or the tough bristled type. The only time I can get quality pipe cleaners is from one of my on-line tobacco shops. And I can't see myself ordering simply pipe cleaners from Pipes&Cigars. I know what will happen. I'll also end up buying more tins of tobacco (which I don't need - but the temptation will overtake me) .

This was the half-assed reasoning I presented to my wife and she calmly replied. "Valentine's Day is coming - please order yourself some new pipe cleaners."          

mfresa

@ghostsofpompeii you should have acted like you were sleep walking LOL 

mapletop

I agree with your wife, take the plunge buy some pipe tobacco, and then buy probably 30 or 40 bucks worth of pipe cleaners which will carry you through the next 10 years of your life and forget about it. But I have to say thank you oh, that was extremely amusing and I appreciate the chuckle

vtgrad2003

That is hilarious! But I'm like you...if something works, keep fixing it until you can't use it anymore, then move on if you have to. By the way, it isn't "cheap", it's "frugal" (that's what I always tell my wife anyway).

Balisong

One of the other advantages of cobs is I don't need a pipe cleaner while smoking and I let 6 or 7 pile up before cleaning all of them using one pipe cleaner and a piece of paper towel.

Zouave

I have stolen crafty pipe cleaners from the kids art supplies. I'm not proud of it. 😁

Zouave

the most ironic part of constantly running out of them is the B.J. Long company is about ten minutes from my house.  The best pipe cleaners in my humble opinion.....when I remember to buy them.

vtgrad2003

I won't even comment on the name "B.J. Long"...ummm, I'll keep it to myself  🤣

Zouave

@vtgrad2003 he is very popular with the lady smokers. 😂

RockyMountainBriar

I have a case of B.J. Long pipe cleaners of different types….I had to make “free shipping” on an order awhile back 🙂. I would not like to leave a pipe all freaking nasty after a smoke.  I have refurbished too many nasty ass gunked up pipes.  My pipes get broken down and cleaned as soon as I am done, usually while warm.  It usually takes 2-3 pipe cleaners each, depending on if it is a “normal” pipe, “well” or “stinger” pipe.

ashawley

I used to live in Rochester for a few years.  I used the self-storage business in the building next door BJ Long.  The BJ Long building is inconspicuous such that I didn't realize that it was.  The upper floors of the BJ Long building do have spools of pipe cleaners hanging in the window.  It's where the felt sausage is made.

RockyMountainBriar

@ashawley
”felt sausage” 😂😂😂

Damn tough center to that sausage, probably break a tooth😬

vtgrad2003

@RockyMountainBriar

You know, I wasn't going to say anything! LOL  🤣