Fools Hoarding Toilet Paper! ... Oops, I've Been Hoarding Tobacco For Years

ghostsofpompeii

As you all know by now, due to the Coronavirus people are finding it difficult to walk into a store and find a single package of toilet paper on the shelves.

Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and bottled water ... to be more exact.

After going to a number of stores - only to discover their shelves were barren as well - I went on a rant about the panicky over-reacting hoarders who caused a run on once plentiful products like toilet paper. That little blue vein in my head nearly popped. I was moments away from re-enacting the scene in the movie "Scanners" when the guy's head exploded. 

"Why in God's name do people feel the need to have a pallet load of toilet paper hoarded in their garage?"

By now, anyone watching TV ... and the wall-to-wall coverage devoted to the virus ... must be aware that this strain of virus attacks the lungs - unlike a stomach flu which can result in an ass-blasting case of diarrhea, where a few extra rolls of toilet paper might prove handy. So this toilet paper conundrum is totally illogical for the Coronavirus.

Thankfully there is a happy ending to this tale. Our local Cosco re-stocked the shelves and today we were able to buy a package of both toilet paper and a case of water. (Limit One per customer - by the way).

Once I got home, still mumbling to myself about the mentality of the hording bastards who turned a simple search for a package of toilet paper and case of bottled water into a seemingly Quest for the Holy Grail I reached for my pipe to chill out.

And then it hit me.

Since receiving word of the Deeming Regulations and the FDA's War On Tobacco ... I've been hording up tobacco like there's no tomorrow. Stocking my cellar with possibly more tobacco blends than I'll ever smoke in my lifetime. And not only that, but continuing to add to it whenever Pipes&Cigars sends a new catalog or I receive an email touting a sale.

So in the end I'm no different than that panicky herd of mindless sheep who depleted the entire stock of toilet paper, hard sanitizer, and bottled water from store shelves that I found myself bitching about. Only my frenzied buying spree and hoarding has been for pipe tobacco. A bit embarrassed by the whole thing.

Lesson learned.   

jfreedy

@ghostsofpompeii - I too have been stocking up on blends. But seeing how the rest of the world has come down so hard on tobacco products and how our FDA is following suit, I actually don’t think it’s an overreaction. We DO have a real threat of losing our hobby, and stocking up on extra pipe tobacco just makes sense. Like Brian Levine says... “tobacco will never be as available or inexpensive as it is right now.”

mapletop

@ghostsofpompeii   OK I am a tobacco whore as well, but I do not believe my doing so has deprived anyone as this happens over time.

Regarding the other hoarding you mentioned, yeah its crazy to see the empty shelves.

But there is one thing I do not understand and that's the hoarding of bottled water, I've seen people at Costco with carts full; for what, the municipal water supplies and for that matter individual wells are not going to dry up.

Makes no sense.

PappyJoe

@ghostsofpompeii
The difference between your two examples is simple. They will eventually find a cure to the Coronavirus and it will fade away in our public consciousness. There is no cure for the FDA and government bureaucracies.

AnantaAndroscoggin

I stopped by at Family Dollar to just pick up a couple of things Sunday on the way home from the transfer station, and noticed that they didn't have a single package of toilet paper, nor of paper towels. The local grocer, which USED TO BE an IGA, was also depleted, and had other shelves pretty-well emptied as well. Almost nothing was in the meat cooler, aside from some expensive cuts and a few loins and a handful of hams. The packaged, processed meats reefer looked pretty-much the way it usually does, though. Ended up going to a Hannaford's Sunday night, and WOW! there were whole areas which had been cleaned out completely, and many of the other shelving had just a few token cans or packages remaining.

If I'm going to spend money on an accumulation of pipes, I want to be able to at least "get my money's worth" out of them the way they were meant to be used. That means, I want to still have some years' worth of fodder to feed them when the parasites in our various legislatures outlaw the sales of said vegetal matter.

As for bureaucracies, @PappyJoe , be thankful for their inefficiency, as an efficient bureaucrat can make thousands of citizens' lives miserable.

PappyJoe

I have a very slight edge over some shoppers. My semi-retired job is doing the design of print grocery ads for independent stores. You know, those usually 4 to 8 page ads you still get in the mail occasionally. Anyway, two of the stores I still do ads for are within 5 miles of me (owned by the same man) he tells me when he's getting a delivery truck in and what's on it. 

I've been doing his ads for over 20 years and he sees me shopping in his stores, so we have this loyalty thing going.

riobrusa

People, as Whole, don't think, they just react. They got their panic list and go for it. I'm surprise that the batteries for flash lights is still available. FDA is another issue, it is a real thread and start stock pilling our favorites tobaccos is a good idea.

Zouave

i got this msg from s friend today who like me is in lockdown here in NY. 😁 Thank goodness I have been stocking up.

ghostsofpompeii

I've been on a diet the past month where you eat one day and fast the next. So I'm only pooping half as much. So if anyone needs to borrow a square of toilet paper I'll gladly mail you one.

motie2

Hint: Whatever you do, don't believe 'em when they say, "Wet wipes are safe to flush." I received a $350.00 plumber bill (after raw sewage backed up into our basement) that says they're wrong.....

AnantaAndroscoggin

@motie2 , same goes for self-proclaimed (on the label) "flushable" cat litter! Asked the wife to never buy it again.

KA9FFJ

@motie2 😱