Fujima Tobacco Pipes
ghostsofpompeii
Master
I needed to kill a little time today before my first "Welcome To Diabetes Class" - or whatever they call it (just found out I have Type II Diabetes) but I digress. I had a little time to kill before my appointment and discovered a new Smoke Shop had opened up a few blocks from where I was to have my appointment, so I decided to stop in and look around. And as usual I was disappointed. All they had were those one pound bags of cheap gas station tobacco, with the bulk of the shop dedicated to Hookahs and Vaping. But squirreled away in the corner of the store was a small display case with a dozen tobacco pipes from the company Fujima selling for $7.99. So I figured "what the heck" and bought one with a weaved wicker finish.
It didn't tale long after the purchase for me to come to my senses and realized it was a bad idea after reading "Made In China" and recalling all the comments made about Chinese EBAY pipes. After removing the pipe from the box I discovered I couldn't separate the stem from the body of the pipe. They damn thing is so tight I first thought it was glued on. Inside the bowl is a metal insert - which I also can't remove. I didn't want to force it for fear of breaking it. So cleaning it would be impossible. I resigned myself to accepting the fact that a thorough cleaning would be impossible and the best I do was run a pipe cleaner through it with soaked in Decatur Briar-Fresh Stem Cleaner. WRONG! Not even the slimmest pipe cleaner could get past the bend in the stem. I couldn't even get past the bend, let alone through the entire stem to the bowl.
I went to the internet hoping to discover if there was a trick to removing the stem ... or if it could even be removed - as well as instructions on removing the metal insert in the bowl, only to discover the pipe also requires a special o-ring ... of which I had none in the box. What a nightmare this had become! While on-line I also I checked out a few reviews and most everyone had similar problems with the pipe. A few seasoned pipe smokers chimed in with "you get what you pay for - and you should have known better". With 50+ years of pipe smoking under my belt you'd think I'd be doling out sarcasm or helpful words of wisdom and not the person who finds himself in that predicament.
But I figured ... "what the heck I've blown $8.00 on a bad burger - what's the worse that can happen?"
Yet the wording on the back of the box should have been the red flag preventing me from making the transaction in the first place. Here is how this wondrous pipe is described on the back of the packaging:
"Durable and can be used repeated for a long time" ... "Made of high-quality special materials. Not contain any harmful objects" ... "Remove tar while using for about 20 times".
First off, when read aloud it sounds like it was written by someone doing a stereotypical bad impression of Charlie Chan. That comforting phrase "Not contain any harmful objects" was enough for my wife to chime in expressly forbidding me to smoke that pipe under any condition.
So I guess I have another pretty pipe to add to my collection. I just can't actually put any tobacco in it and smoke it. Kind of like buying a pistol to put on display that has the barrel welded so it can't be fired. Pretty to look at - but absolutely useless.
Comments
Made in China 😲
One word of advice though, stay away from diet drinks as much as you can, the artificial sweeteners are just as bad on sugar in the affects they can have on your body. I drink a lot of water, unsweet tea, black coffee. I don't drink more than one alcoholic drink a day and sometimes I go a couple of weeks without booze.
Pipe tobacco with alcohol flavorings don't count.
Chinese origin, again (especially food items), there is however one exception (there always is).
There is a high end (high rezolution) audio player manufacturer called Fio that makes really excellent players at reasonable prices using the top of the line audio chips from Texas instruments.
I did pull the stems off of all three and they each had a clear plastic stinger.
My youngest son has been a bouncer for several years and is built like a hitman for Tony Soprano's mob. I told him I couldn't get the stem off so he wanted to have a go at it. He grabbed hold, began flexing his muscles and the stem made a grinding noise and moved about an inch or two ... then stopped dead. Veins bulged in his neck, his face turned red, but try as he might he couldn't get it to move another inch. So I suggested forgetting the whole thing and just turning the stem back to the original position so could at least display it ... but it wouldn't budge. It was locked in place. It's a bent pipe so it looks odd with the mouthpiece pointed in the wrong direction - so I can't even display it.
I read somewhere that you can put a pipe in the freezer for a few hours and that might loosen it up. It seemed to work with a person having stem issues with his Peterson Dracula pipe. But I wasn't so lucky. I removed the pipe from the freezer, applied a little pressure, and the stem snapped. So the tragic tale of my Fujima Pipe is a short lived one.